Day #2 of bloggerworld, Huh what is it I could count down too? Not anything interesting in my life. I don't think, anyway. It is funny in bloggerland-world-place. You don't ever really talk to anyone--Look anyone really in the eyeball--Or anything. Yet, somehow in your infinite knowlege and wisdom you are shaped. Shaped by what you think--People think about you? So your writing gets shaped without ever seeing, nor knowing maybe another person? You get shaped, maybe a little bit-too. I was thinking about this, as I was thinking about what I wanted to write here. No imagined pressure, expectations, misguided-selfserving direction. I could be whoever I want to be--Whoever I am. I am almost free. Free, free, free. Free to think what I want to think; Feel what I want to and can feel. Free to be whoever I really am. I've been online and seen some strange people who NEED to be paid attention to. I don't understand it when I see people online-Get out of strangeness emotional in a way that DEMANDS attention from others. It is a monitor, with a keyboard--For crying outloud. I don't ask for people to pay attention to me--To a point that, I lose myself in the need? Strange phenonmenon to me. I do like to interact with people though. The last week I've been doing some heavy thinking about my future. I can't plan for my future too well; If, I am not positive and clear of my pasts injuries though. I woke up this a.m. and there was something wierd on my heart from dreamland. Something new in my soul, and spirit. I didn't even know I was really thinking about it; Till it come to me when I woke up. I have never liked to watch reality television, Survivor, America's Next Top Model and Big Brother. Yet, now in this alone-relaxing-transition time I find myself anticipating Big Brother being on. I cannot wait, till it is on and I can revel in watching the people in it. I chastise myself about it; And am shocked at how I can't wait. Reality t.v. defeats the whole purpose of the television in my opinion. I watch television to escape reality. To be taken away from the drudgeries of work, inflation, world-turmoil. Why watch people betray, scheme, lie, bully and cheat the hell out of others--For measly dollars and cents. It is degrading. (So that is what the price of the human soul is--I've always wondered.) Anyway in almost all of the one on one camera shots of people given the opportunity to return to the 'House' each of them appear vengeful-grudgeful. A reality lesson about reality on a reality t.v. show. Who am I to say, since I've been unwilling to revisit some of the people in my reallife dramas....But, what bothers me is how people waste time reliving, reviewing, and being in that hurt and injury by another. And, asking the world for time to cause the same type of injury.
I guess I've done the same thing--And to be faced with that reality hurts me, that I'd want to get back at someone else for a real or imagined injury. I spent a lot of time meditating and thinking and pondering it from when I awoke. I could see the words as if I'd written them down myself. 'I don't want to hurt anyone. Even if they've hurt me.' Living, and life could be so much simpler if I could learn to live by and in those words. Not just me--A lot of people I know could be happier and free-er truly in those words. I have no power and lay no claim to other people--I can only do, What I do, for myself? A little bit of freedom. Freedom and freedom, day #2 of the bloggerland-world-place.
No comments:
Post a Comment