Close in the ranks

It is a warm, overcast day in N. Portland today; Which, is actually kind of frightening. There are funnel clouds, here! I've started long-distance running again, and oh my is it nice. My body just melted away a lot of the weight. My breasts are disappearing?! It is nice, to work it out. To sweat it out. To think it out and feel it in my lungs, in my blood and my body.

I am on campus, I've got two mid-term exams tomorrow. Plus, I had to let my room-mate have his space. We have one couch, a little dark red (Color of this post, Even?) that we take turns sitting on. I know this has to be part of our problem. I'd bring in some of my own chairs, or furniture but it feels weird to me, to do that. It really does. I don't want to.

He started to talk to me Thursday as I rushed home, dropped off my bookbag and ran to the bar down the street (The one he told me not to go to) to watch the Blazer-Phoenix game. I was surprised, and glad too. I didn't even ask him why he ignored me or anything. I just, 'let it go.' I was prepared to see how long he could continue ignoring me. I was starting to find it humourous. Good Gawd, are we in the fourth grade---Or, what? Now, I just make it a point to tell him, every time he uses the delicate pink tea kettle, "Did you fill it back up? Would you PUH-LEASE?"

As many times as I have to. That will help me. He is quick--he watches everything I do and say and will follow suit. Whatever I do, that bothers him--I'm sure he'll tell me. I've made it a point, to stay gone if I want to get work done. We can't be in the house together when we have work to do. We chat, which invariably always turns into some kind of debate, or fight or disagreement about some damn thing or another. He promises me, "We will always disagree." Ah, where would the world be if we all just got along?

Amazingly, I've learned to understand the popular saying, "Do you want to be right? Or, do you want to be happy?" I want to be happy. Sometimes you have to let things go for yourself and through yourself to get to that happiness. And this room-mate is a good guy and I want good things for him. And in wanting good things for him, I want him to be happy too. So I'll pick and choose my battles. Make sure my soldiers are squared away and prepared to do battle. Check the artillery, Do recon., and map out the trajectory then close in the ranks...as they say.

I sure do miss my family. I dreamed about my daddy last week. I do miss him almost every day. This room-mate distracts me from those old aches and pains.

I don't know if that is a good thing. Maybe it is. My friends and family have been dying for me to be a part of a couple F-O-R-E-V-E-R it was my daddy's dying wish even. A lot of my friends and family are very glad I live with a man. Which is too funny, because it is not that kind of situation. He has a lady friend, he spends almost every night with her. And my paramour is my schoolwork. I have to be singleminded about my schoolwork. Nothing is more important to me, than succeeding and succeeding well. There is a small list of my life 'to do' things right now. And, relationship/friendship is NOT on that list. I keep telling my friends and family that he has a lady friend. I'm not on the market, and so on and so forth. But, they are so excited I think the part of their brain that listens to me, Is shut down or something?

I've been reading a lot. Where I live is very peaceful compared to how it used to be when I lived farther NE. I am finishing up Lolita (again)....Starting a new book about Shakespeare and finishing up Ray Carver books. There is not enough hours in a day...If I could I would read all day--Every day. I've begun to use my 'fun reading' as a way of rewarding myself for being a good girl, and getting my schoolwork done! It is a good motivator. Well I'm gonna go find something to eat. I'm hungry and gotta some reading to do.