BFF, Goulash and Vladimir Nabokov.

I have a pot of tomato-spaghetti-hamburger sauce simmering on low; Put, on my jammies and am going to have a cup of late night coffee. I felt badly for lying to my friend; But, there isn't anything wrong with alone time, if I have to have it. Gawd, what is wrong with me? I am making the best sauce, it always tastes good; But, I never feel like I put in enough garlic, or onion. I am a chicken and coward, I should be able to say to friends, "Now, isn't a good time to visit. I need to be alone." That'd be fine, if she'd asked to visit. Come to think of it she told me she was going to be here and we would visit. I was put into a position to lie and say I was busy. I should be mad; Instead, of feeling guilty! I should be angry; Instead, of feeling like I have to apologize. I should be raging, furious; Instead, of repentant! Okay, that's a bit much. You get the point. I learned something, hummmppphh grunt to self.
My very best-friend in the world called me this afternoon. How, I was so glad to hear her voice. I'd not been able to speak to her for over a month's time. She sent me a card at the beginning of the month of two kitties in a wagon. Me and my BFF. She and I've been friend's for about 8 to 9 years. She is 93 years old; And, tough as nails. She is of a certain generation you know. As long, as we've been friends and I've stayed at her home, when I traveled home to visit she always made sure I was a guest. One of those people of a certain generation. I acted as a lector, this a.m.
Which was kinda odd, and funny. The bulletin comes out with a list of who is going to do what for what Mass. I was listed, as being a lector, I was sure I didn't sign up. I was sure I didn't but, there my name was. I went in to the church early, to check it out, and look at the schedule. Sure enough I didn't sign up. But, someone was nice enough, to appoint, nominate and elect me to read today. So, I did.

When, you come from a big family and there's a meeting, and you are absent~~You are most likely to be elected and appointed, because you aren't there.

It was alright; And, I've met a lot more people. Which, I've actually shied away from forever. But, they are compelled to tell me, they love to hear me do the reading? And, to introduce themselves. I shy away from it as much and as often as I could. To just try and keep to myself; And, mind my own bees wax. This a.m. was kind of crazy; I couldn't hide and bury myself if I wanted to. The final procession had processed, and I was clapping for how good the choir was...and, my ring on my right hand ring-finger flew off of my finger....The ladies in front of me, and those coming toward me, Were like, "What was that?" I raised my eye brows, and said, "That was my ring, it just flew off of my hand." We all went toward the front rows in the direction it went, to bend down and look under the pews.....I gathered more people to me; Because, I'd been pulled out of my seat. Where, I generally like to sit and avoid eye contact till everyone is gone. So, I can just kind of wind down.
I was out in the open, and forced to see and talk to people. Oh, the horrors.
My plans for my sauce, is Goulash. For the first night, I usually like the sauce with Angel Hair pasta...but, I feel like a Goulash tonight.....I am on the third disc of Lolita being narrated by Jeremy Irons and I've come to enjoy his voice filling my little apartment. Almost, like having another person around? I think, I'll find better recorded-voice-people the next time I get an audio book? Who wants, wacky insane old Humbert Humbert in their apartment going on and rambling on about nymphets? Not to mention his haughty, hoity-toity French language arrogance? Ah, Vladimir Nabokov the master character creator. Master storyteller; Weaver of make-believer...that Vladimir Nabokov.